Operation __________ can't start because owner isn't here yet..
Teachers' Day is tomorrow :) Happy Teachers' Day love all the teachers that have ever taught me xP The most noble and underpaid job possible in Singapore imho! Everything'll be okay just pray harder for a raise for all teachers!!!!
For one I keep falling asleep way too early because I just get really sleepy at this time (it's freaking only 9:36PM), but today I swear ima finish packing my bag at least.
Oh wait I have chem consult tmr I gotta sort out some more chem first!
And okay anyway to the crux of the blogpost..
After lots of mental debating with myself I cannot even decide for myself what I want.
It all started with this. If you recall an earlier blogpost showing the trailer of "The Art of Getting By", I might've also posted the one about "Stupid Crazy Love".
The trailers both really make me wanna watch but it's kinda promos period so it'll be hard to get people. Let alone someone who wants to watch a romcom.
Okay you can assume what I thought about then. Like who I wanted to ask.
Then, I freaking got really confused.
Maybe blogging does help me to understand my own feelings.. Felt like I had an epiphany back there. But seriously, just a suggestion to everyone who's reading this.. Start writing about your own thoughts and feelings and you might actually feel better or realise what you truly want :)
Okays so back from sidetracking, so I got really confused right, about my true feelings and feeling stressed out over studies yet I was still doing (what I think was quite minimal compared to what I could be doing so pretty much) nothing much about it. I have no idea how long I procrastinated my EoM and I can't even imagine to think of the lousy reasons i did. :/
ANYWAY POINT BEING, I think deep down inside I always knew. I'm actually sort of a perfectionist I guess. But I guess I'm kinda realistic though I call myself one. I mean to be totally honest (well that's just being me but still), I knew it was impractical to aim for straight 'A's for promo results. (which isn't impossible if I worked for it I think but still) so I was aiming like A for math, B for chem (because I really didn't want to disappoint my chem teacher who is really good) and I don't really care about the rest so long as I can average C it.
How else am I a perfectionist? I'm constantly trying to do (or well, learn) break dance moves which are outta my league (well, not really but they are really hard) to learn hoping that maybe my body will react instinctively and twist so I would get it easy. But no that never happens.
Same reason as above, I'm afraid that the true reason I think I'm into her is because I'm in love with trying to get unattainable things yet I'm too afraid to do anyrhing about it.
(So I fell asleep here wth alarm rang went back to sleep -.-)
So I think it's because I'm scared of failing that my body has conditioned itself to switch off when I try to study. It's because I'm scared of failing that I don't really dare to talk to her.
It's because I can't understand whether I like her or I like trying to get what's unattainable or that I'm just afraid of talking to her that I don't dare to talk to her.
"Only those who listen can hear."
Daniel Cloud Campos. Officially my favourite choreographer for making music for dance; and making that dance with the music!
Next,
Omgosh I am freaking loving this song right now. Thank you so much for making my day yesterday :)
Lastly,
Don't think I've shown this here before. Song is LP & JC - The humblest start (from the StreetDance 3D Soundtrack). George Sampson is super cool too I just got my motivations I think I'll attempt backflips again after more training. Right after I get my chair freeze right :)
TIME TO GET MOTIVATED!!!!! Omg still on my EoM haha! And an evil person STILL HASNT COME ONLINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Long time since I've blogged :( Haiz sick today. AGAIN.
I hate it how I'm always falling sick before important exams. And it's some epic bad sore throat I can't keep my balance or talk properly it feels inflamed or smth. :(
Anyway, introducing violins on MOVES LIKE JAGGER!!!
Enjoy peeps :).
And I keep dreaming about the same someone recently this is baddddddd
Okay so, I've got this new mindset, that I actually need to be good at the stuff I do in life. Not like just academics, or like dance but like everything in general. Here's what got me inspired:
http://blackeiffel.blogspot.com/ She's inspiring how her blog is multifaceted and encompassing what isn't the latest in news but the latest in trends, or like introducing really cool stuff you never knew existed (for example http://manjarsweets.com COOKIES!!!) or even about good foods or cool stuff you can buy online.
Okay so what does this have to do with my new inspirational mindset!
Well for starters, her blog is truly inspiring how it's simple yet pretty. Even the teeniest details like font, frames, colour contrasts are meticulously taken care of. AND she quotes all her picture sources. And it's not constant rambling about her life (which wouldn't be boring I guess) but instead is very objective. And classy somehow.
And then it got me thinking..
I need to be more creative. I need to be better at choreographing dance and being confident of myself afterward. I need to have a nicer blog. (and in order to do that) I need to learn how to use photoshop like a pro (or at least the basics :P)! That I need to learn how to cook. That I need to be more efficient. That I need to waste less time on meaningless things. That I need to be more vocal. You know, basically getting rid all your minor emotional insecurities and/or your flaws and/or attaining your achievable wants.
Wish I was limitless :(
"I was blind but now I see."
Nope, I'm still blind. At least, until I find balance in myself and the things I want bad enough, and gain the confidence to do some things before I regret it.
Haha time will tell whether feelings stand, time will tell whether everything's meant to be.
Watch this it's really awesome.
Ever imagined Harry Potter as a romcom?
Well I can't get enough of this now ;D
Gotta mug mug mug mug mug tmr!!!! And do EoM!!! I hopes. Freak I have to redo because I used like a chapter and 2 excerpts from the same book but wasn't told beforehand that it wasn't allowed. :( Now I am sad.
And hopefully not get distracted again on the way.
Haven't done anything solid since start of today :(
Okay ima blog before doing anything else since I'm so distracted now anyways. So anyway I'm listening to this song currently :)
And my parents just came back from the scholarship talk day thing.
Which is getting on my nerves (well except for the heap of free stuff and food my parents brought home) because it brings up the same question im too lost to ask myself too scared ask someone i want to hear it from and too (well I find it) retarded to talk to relatives about.
What do I want to be when I grow up?
Well prior to that,
What University Course do I want to get into?
Or even,
What University do I want to get into?
Which then leads to a,
What grades do I think I should get for my 'A' Level Examinations?
Which brings up a,
What grades do I think I CAN get for my 'A' Level Examinations?
Just watched Ninja Warrior on TV and it's nothing like IHC's version. IHC's version is so lame and dependent on how well girls work. And being the first few teams sucks cos everyone just learns from your mistakes and your timing can eat the dust. Haiz. But my mentality now is still of the live and be happy with what you have already :)
Thought I had changed for the better alot already but I fell asleep for 1 question during GP class! Meh but I prefer my old teacher D: Mrs Grace Lee, come back asap safely! teehee :P
kay gotta stay focused EoM's due friday that's 2 days today and tmr time to take notes grahhhhhhhhhh @_@
To a friend of mine and everyone else I am going to dedicate a song here. It's kinda old but wayyy more recent than the 1974 crap my brother listens to.
Don't emo already! Life's too short for you to sulk over things. What's done is done, live with it and get to explore your options or figure what you need or want in your life now :)
Time to blog some random pictures I find online:
Admit it you are as sad as me. No lifer!!!!!
This is awesomely so cool unlike my wallpaper D: . Shall reblog after I get a new wallpaper!!!
But most of all:
Love you guys bbyes :) Back to poor old math time to get raped!
Heyo my name is Justin, some people call me juice-teen, but they spell it JOOOSTEEN. But you can call me whatever you want and hopefully it’s not offensive. I’m 16 (and loving every moment) and I get older every 8th May how dreadful. Life hates me, but it’s okay, I hate life too. Just kidding. I am a fan of Paramore, All Time Low, The Maine, break dancing, handstands, chocolate, chilli, more chilli (you can never get enough) and a hardcore fan of overly flashy introductions that don’t say much at all (welcome to the pain :D). If you want to know more about me that this lousy introduction doesn’t include feel free to read on.
Or alternately, if you don’t like me enough click x to get the crap outta here.